What do you mean, 'no'?

Sorry I'm not sorry.

1,430 notes

espaliersport:

MUSE of the MONTH   { September }
What does it take to be an award-wining pole athlete?
Our September Muse, Aggie Ng, can tell you. Her elegant poise and persistence, molded her day job as a visual designer and nights spent in her studio -Body and Pole, are the elements to a successful 2-year run on the competitive circuit so far.
You can follow Aggie’s instagram at @snaglikeanag for her news update.
Here’s a short list of her accomplishments:
- 2013 Polesque Winner
- 2013 SuperShag Pole Fitness Championships Winner Gold Division
- 2014 Atlantic Pacific Pole Championships Pro Winner Silver Medalist
- 2014 U.S. National Pole Championships Women’s Division Finalist
- Dance member of PoleSpeak @Polespeak

Aggie is wearing:

VMesh Bratop

Guest Photographer: Simon Leung

(via stripperina)

Filed under aggie ng pole dancing badass madies

457,349 notes

the-fandoms-are-cool:

leradny:

videohall:

Astronaut readjusts to life back on Earth

> Don’t give him a baby for a while.

HE GRABS THE CUP BUT THEN HE DROPS THE PEN 0.0003 SECONDS LATER

AND HE LOOKS UP AT THE CEILING INSTEAD OF AT THE GROUND WHEN HE CAN’T FIND THEM

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HE JUST DROPS IT

IT’S NOT FUNNY IT’S VERY LOGICAL THAT HE WOULD HAVE ADJUSTED TO LIVING LIFE WHILE HE WAS IN SPACE BECAUSE IT’S DIFFERENT FROM EARTH BUT I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE

*THUNK*

(via notanightlight)

Filed under always reblog astronauts gravity

139 notes

sidmalkin:

Miss Congeniality AU (one ll two) — Sidney Crosby and Geno Malkin are FBI agents, and they are investigating a bombing that’ll occur at the Mr. America pageant. Geno half jokingly proposes Sidney be the agent who goes undercover, which is an outrageous idea because though Sidney is one of the best agents in the field, he’s completely unpolished: he has long greasy hair, wears crocs to the office, owns nothing but stained and unfitted clothes, is missing teeth from an assignment gone awry last year, and refuses to shave his unprofessional facial hair.

The Bureau calls in the legendary Mario Lemieux to help polish Sidney up for the pageant. Sidney’s transformation shocks everyone, especially Geno, who may or may not be developing feelings for his long-time partner. Can Sidney save the day, win a crown, and score a boyfriend after this assignment?

(via giganticism)

Filed under I'M SLAYED this is hilarity of the first order and someone really needs to write this perfection sid/geno the miss congeniality au

3,866 notes

skelenabones:

websandwhiskers:

THIS HAD BEEN DRIVING ME NUTS FOR FOREVER. 

So there.  Now I have figured it out. 

People who I suspect have thought about this less than me:

  • Tolkien
  • Peter Jackson
  • real geneticists
  • God
  • anyone

this absolutely 200% needs to be submitted to the Annals of Improbable Research or some other similar psuedo-academic publication, this is good enough to be published somewhere

(via etharei)

Filed under lotr fandom dwarves dwarven genetics MIDDLE EARTH SCIENCE

17,649 notes

BREAKING: Another young man killed by Ferguson police at the scene of cop shooting

thepoliticalfreakshow:

  • : : , Mo. police officer shot, officer not killed, according to St. Louis Co. police
  • All members of + are safe. We are hearing the police officer was shot in the arm. Suspect was killed
  • Pretty sure just went from bad to worse.
  • Another ambulance is coming. Think it’s for the body of the boy that was killed.
  • In this moment, the crowd is pivoting from Martin to full-fledged Malcolm. Many people have said they are tired of hands-up.
  • There’s a lot happening in right now. We all need to pay attention and uplift the humanity of the people on the ground.

(via etharei)

Filed under ferguson jfc it's a fucking clusterfuck

125,864 notes

errandofmercy:

sabenzero:

omnicat:

genalovestoons:

kungphooey:

my headcanon here is that legolas is just BARELY visibly holding it together

since canon tells us that mirkwood elves like to party and are fully capable of passing out from drunk

so legolas is using EVERYTHING HE HAS to fuck with gimli and pretend he hasn’t a clue what it’s like to be affected by alcohol

while inside he’s all ‘sdkla;hgsj you can do this leggles you can do this’

‘don’t think about that time you blacked out from dorwinion wine while naked in the middle of an impromptu archery contest’

‘and all your friends drew orc penises on your face’

‘and when you woke up you were halfway to dale without a clue as to how you got there’

‘And especially don’t think about that time you drank so much that the dwarves you were supposed to be watching escaped in the empty barrels of wine.’

‘Dad never let me hear the end of that one’

Leggles

While all of the above is great, I’d like to offer that dwaven ‘ale’ probably isn’t made from barley.  they live underground.  what grows underground? Mushrooms.  I’m saying Dwarven Ale is halucinogenic.  I’m saying Legolas was tripping balls.

It got better O_O

(Source: thorinium, via notanightlight)

Filed under hilarity legolas gimli lotr HEADCANON ACCEPTED

26,328 notes

notbecauseofvictories:

also that whole tale of aragorn and arwen thing where he saw her in the woods at twenty and fell instantly in love and it’s very beren and luthien? lies.

aragorn decided he was going to marry arwen when he was like, six.

and everyone thought it was just the cutest thing, baby estel with his little crush on the great immortal evenstar, and everyone would tease him about it relentlessly and he would get so mad, and pout, because how dare they doubt his word.

(arwen spent a lot of time biting back smiles and nodding very seriously when aragorn brings this up with her. no, estel, I do not know why they are laughing perhaps they have remembered a particularly funny joke.)

and then aragorn grows into this gangly teen and oh my god can you imagine being a pimply greasy teenager around fucking elves it’s a wonder he has any self-image left. His voice breaks every other word and the laundresses are beginning to wonder if something is wrong with the sheets because estel keeps washing them himself and aragorn wants to die, god, arwen is never going to marry him if he stays all elbows and skinny knees and he can’t even look her in the eye anymore without blushing, eye contact is probably something to look for in a husband—

(arwen, who never had to go through puberty because elves don’t do anything so undignified, tries to comfort him by saying she likes his blemishes. aragorn gives her a look of such utter, miserable despair that she starts laughing.)

(this is a mistake. he spends the next three weeks nursing his wounded ego and refusing to see her.)

estel is twenty when he asks for her hand. he is lean, slender and fair as a new tree, and so arwen does not feel guilt in kissing his cheek and gently refusing. he is still green, he will weather greater storms than this—and he takes it as he should, clasping her hand and swearing to ever be her loyal friend.

they write to each other—when she is in lorien, when he wanders with the rangers of the north, fights alongside gondor, travels to distant lands. it is an inconstant tie—he is rarely afforded time enough to put pen to paper; she is reserved so as not to encourage what may not be. (she signs her letters always, your friend. She likes him too well to be cruel in this.)

the years pass. his weariness and strife creeps onto the page, and she sends him tokens to fend off the darkness—leaves from lothlorien, the ribbon from her hair, snippets of poems. it is not enough it is never enough I am sorry, she writes.

his reply is gentle: you are enough. do not stop writing.

(she carries that letter tucked inside her sleeve for a long while, like a talisman—though against what evil, she does not know.)

she is in the house of her grandmother when a familiar voice calls out to her: my lady luthien!

this is when arwen looks up, sees aragorn—broad of chest and rugged, still wearing his battered mail, with one hand balanced lazily on the pommel of his sword. All the trees of caras galadhon are gold but he is shadow and silver, kingliness resting lightly on his shoulders—

and arwen thinks, oh fuck

(via etharei)

Filed under always reblog arwen headcanon accepted lotr